Dannazione
by masterkawaii
Summary: Would things really get easier this way? Is ending your own life at your own hands courageous, or cowardly, for not being able to face the pains of the world? Lovina struggles against life. Life is her biggest enemy, to say the least. Pressured under the weight of everything, she resorts to the worst possible solutions. Now, if only a certain idiot would stop interfering...


_I'm done. I'm sick of it, and it's now or never. _She looked down shakily, almost feeling dizzy from seeing the ground below. Was it worth it? Just one step, and it's all over. No more having to deal with the world. Perhaps that was the better choice, and no regrets would be left. What would it be like? Death, she meant. A black hole? A void of memories? Heaven? Hell? …endless nothing? Thoughts swarmed in through head. Nobody would notice her absence. Nobody would even care. What was the point of going on in life if there was nobody to acknowledge it? Nobody to walk along the path with you? Loneliness can be peaceful, but it torments the mind. It beats it until it's numb. It beats it until you realize you're useless. It knocks the truth of reality into you. She took a deep breath. _One step, Lovina, just one step. You can do this._ Her hands shook violently, although she did not let go of the piece of paper in her hand. It crinkled harder by the second as the winds picked up. _You're so fucking useless, you can't even end your own life. You don't even deserve death. You deserve eternal- _"Shut up!" She yelled, panting from the pressure. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead. Her eyes glanced down at the ground, far below. Then she lifted her leg up slowly, ever so slowly; her foot almost dangled in the air. "A-ah!" Her balance was lost. She tipped over. She fell.

_Beep._

_Beep. Beep._

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

"She's alive, she's alive! We can do this! Again, one, two!"

Her chest was pumped again.

Eyes slowly opening, narrowed.

Her breathing started once again, but it hurt to breath. She tried to move. _Ouch. _That hurt too. _Well shit. _She groaned quietly. It was blurry and she couldn't see properly. _What is that, a white man? What the hell? Am I dead, or..? _Then her eyes slowly lolled back into her head when another pump to her body was delivered.

It was only after a few hours did she come to. Slowly sitting up, she stifled a yell and slumped back again. Her arms and legs were in casts, and a thick wall of whatever-it-was had covered her ribcage area. Her head throbbed and was feeling rather stuffy, so she guessed her head was probably bandaged as well. Her jaw hurt a bit when she opened her mouth too wide, so she decided not to speak too much when addressed. If anyone even visited her, anyway. Everyone she knew was probably at her sister Feliciana's birthday party for her boyfriend (that potato bastard, what was his name again?) all day. _Stupid bitch. Everyone likes her so much. It kind of makes me jealous… _She sighed and closed her eyes. It wasn't that she genuinely hated her sister. It's just that… she was always so loved by others and surrounded by friends. Plus, she was kind to people around her and helped those who needed it. And here Lovina was, after a terribly failed attempt to kill herself, the pessimistic, stubborn one with a bad mouth. Who would even care to speak to her? Well, that tomato idiot did, but… that's not the point.

Looking around the room, she started to think if the hospital contacted anybody. They probably wouldn't even pick up, anyway, since the music would be turned up at full volume in the party. And her parents weren't even in town, so she was on her own again. She sighed again. "Shit." She mumbled, it even hurt to sigh now? _Whatever. _Lovina was just upset that she was still alive. She wanted to see that bright light she'd seen earlier, in the darkness. It was so pretty, she could… could almost touch it. But then, it all stopped. And she heard voices. And her chest hurt. And she opened her eyes. Why? Grumbling, she finally gave into the sleep that called for her once again. The stupid throbbing head made it hard to go so, but she managed to drift off into a bitter sleep…

..only to be woken up by a loud thump at the door.

And it swung open. She didn't bother to open her eyes, she merely stirred in her sleep. It was probably just a doctor. "Lovi!" Her nickname was called. _…oh no. Not him. Dear God, please, please don't let it be him, no, I can't—_"What happened!? Are you alright!?" Some person with shaggy, somewhat curly, messy brown hair ran to her side, a worried expression painted onto his face.

"Fuck off." Lovina attempted to turn away on instinct before groaning and turning her head back into place. This body cast really limited her movements, and she had to remember to speak without moving her mouth too much. "I don't want you here." _  
_

Antonio cocked his head to one side. "What? Do you think I'm leaving? Hell no, I want to know what happened to-"

"No, you don't. And what are you even doing here? I thought you were at the party with the rest of your stupid-ass gang trio, or whatever you call it."

"I got a call from the hospital. No one picked up in the contacts, and I doubt they'd try calling anyone with their contact ID named 'Stupid Tomato Bastard' to notify them something's wrong. Anyway, I rushed over here once I got it. I happened to go to the bathroom- but that's not the problem right now, what were you thinking, Lovi!? Did someone push you off, or..?" He leaned closer, inspecting her bruised face. There was a cut on her left cheek that was left not bandaged.

But before he could look any more a nurse poked her head in and called, "Hey, time's up; she has to eat now, okay, sweetie?" Lovina flinched at what the nurse called Antonio. She didn't know why she had such a reaction, though.

"Ah, is it alright if I do the honours to feed her? I'd like to talk to her a bit longer…"

"Sorry, sweetheart, but you need to leave, she must have as much sleep as she can, and visiting hours close soon… You might want to come earlier next time, too."

"Oh, sí, no problem." He sent her a smile before turning to Lovi. "I'm going to go then. I'll be back tomorrow, and I'll be sure to bring your sister and everyone else, okay?" Antonio grinned that stupid grin of his and waved goodbye to the girl in the hospital bed. "Hasta luego~"

The door slid to a close. After eating dinner (fed by the stupid nurse idiot who called Antonio a sweetheart), the hot-headed Italian muttered something before passing out from exhaustion. "Che diavolo…"

* * *

A/N: Hello, everyone! I'm new to this fanfic author thing, and I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter to a story I've been thinking about for a while! ;o; Ahah, and if there are any mistakes whatsoever, feel free to tell me~! And if there are any requests as to what I should include in the next chapter, please do tell me! (: Thank you~ Ah… and… I don't own Hetalia, or the characters in Hetalia. c:

Mm, right, and:

Che diavolo: What the hell

Dannazione: Damn it


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